Patience is the companion of wisdom

Tuesday 13^th November 2012

Breakfast at the Ibis appeared to have been regurgitated by one, so I cut my losses and braved the Northampton streets. It felt strange to wander after 30 years and to my surprise there was very little I remembered fondly or otherwise. Despite repeated rape by town planners a few buildings of note still survive like gold tooth caps amongst the grey decay. All Saints Church and the Town Hall evoke grander cityscapes and a civic pride long since neutered.

With a few hours to spare I drifted through the medieval grid before finding a leather oasis in the Shoe Museum. This was doubly fascinating after visiting dad and hearing his stories of the rough stuff. I had also forgotten the beauty of shoes and the craft that still exists here, revitalised by the likes of Jeffrey West amongst others.

http://vimeo.com/28888778

Old Beale Street is coming down
Sweeties' Snack Bar, boarded up now
And Egles the Tailor and the Shine Boy's gone
Faded out with ragtime blues.

Mum was in good form, looking well but shrunken, slight and frail. My love for her seemed amplified after seeing dad and I luxuriated in her sunshine, whilst my stepfather replenished cups of tea and digestive biscuits, her staple diet these days. Conversation was a challenge thanks to mum’s poor hearing but we muddled through with repetition and a raised voice. Although I ached to explore some of the questions raised by dad, I decided the risk of opening old wounds and making her feel insecure was too great. My curiosity was parked alongside a realisation that I’d never know the whole truth, just glimmers of colour through lace curtains.

Saying goodbye gets harder each time and the lingering hugs, snaking tears and expressions of love more heartfelt; our mutual fear that this might be the last time driving the agenda.

 

At dusk I joined the necklace of red tail lights leaving Northampton and my tears returned; a salty blend of regret, love and happiness. A stubborn scab had succumbed to new skin and sunlight. The song Dive for Your Memory drifted into my psyche as I drove home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s3Il5pmPXI

If the cliffs were any closer
If the water wasn’t so bad.
I’d dive for your memory
On the rocks and the sand.

I’d dive for you
Like a bird I’d descend
Deep down I’m lonely
And I miss my friend.

The Go-Betweens were formed in Brisbane in 1977 by Robert Forster and Grant McLennan and soon evolved into a cult antipodean brew distilling the best of UK and US New Wave. Think The Smiths with a side order of Talking Heads and some sunshine. They played the Zap Club on the 7 June 1989 and I was lucky enough to be there for a night of jangly joy. Whenever I think of my favourite gigs it’s one that instantly surfaces with a warm smile. It was my first summer in Brighton starting a new life and I was buoyed by hopes, dreams and anticipation. Sadly Grant died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack aged just 48 on May 6^th 2008. He was about to host a party to celebrate a new relationship and house. This song is a favourite of mine, simple like sadness itself and sure to bring a tear to my eye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v69plUD8Vio

Hey you! Watch me fall through your fingers.
I will spill away like sand.
Hey you! Watch me fall through your fingers.
Now you know what it's like to be a man.

His friend and co writer Robert Forster was devastated by the loss and wrote the equally beautiful Demon Days for Grant. No one knows how long they have, so burn brightly my friends, cry easily and hold those dear close to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAbU7K1Xrcw&feature=related

The half whispered hopes
The dreams that we smoked
Puffed up and ran
As only dreams can
Dreamt by the young
Sparks to be sung
In places so bright
But something’s not right
Something’s gone wrong

All hail the Go-Betweens, the finest Australian band to traverse the globe. Brisbane should be proud.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGUxZvuRe9k

 If you spend your life looking behind you
You don’t see what’s up front
Was there anything I could do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mECBgNZt_k

What would you do if you turned around
And saw me beside you
Not in a dream but in a song?
Would you float like a phantom
Or would you sing along?

Don't know where I'm going
Don't know where it's flowing
But I know it's finding you