There’s a fire in there if you care to light it

The journey each day has been long but necessary; the red brick and grey of Northampton welcome despite constant spits of rain. For once it feels good to be back amongst boarded up shops, obese tattooed women and curry houses signalling home. Walking up Gold Street brings me closer to mum with every step.

 

The sticky heat hits me as I enter to navigate the miles of blue corridors which lead me to the Cedar Ward.

Magnolia sweat box

Wheeling technology
Musical chairs
Bewildering uniforms
Weaving visitors
Red trailing lines

On Monday mum was sitting almost upright and looking my way as I walked towards her. She seemed brighter, closer inspection revealing warm pools of pinks advancing against the mottled sepia yellow of Saturday. I allowed optimism and hope to dance before my eyes for the first time in days.

Colin and I each hold a hand, taking turns to coax her to eat something. She calls it nagging and uses the little energy she has to resist. We tread a fine line but do our best. Sometimes a mouthful or two of chicken soup and postage stamps of bread and butter get past the gates. This is the best we can hope for. Sustenance must become friend rather than foe; deliverance from a white sheet cocoon and bedpans the goal. I feel determined today and will not give up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifU5apsU508&feature=player_embedded

Did you crack the sky wide open
To find what was inside?
Is it not what you were hoping?
Another case of do or die

Did you cross the bridgeless scope of chatter?
Did you say just one thing that mattered?
Did you skate the cold water of reason?
Invigorates upon the logic of this treason
Even the stars die

In the end, what do things matter?
God knows I’m not unkind
So I sparkle and then shatter
God knows I've half a mind

I'm the queen of street-light conversations
Idle dreams, fatal fascinations
Feel the cloud, the glamour and the clatter
See the day when the night begins to shatter
Even the stars die